40 Times Recruiters Were Dumbfounded By People’s Actual Resumes

If you’ve ever been job hunting, you should be familiar with the pain of creating and/or updating your resume. Making yourself seem appealing by summarizing your work life and educational achievements can be quite a chore, especially for those of us that don’t enjoy boasting. The task can weigh on people so much, it’s often tempting to just send a quick message to the recruiter saying, “I can do this job, give me this job.” However, like many things in this modern world, we do need to go through the whole song and dance about it, with formatting, designing, and peppering it with personality (not too much, though!).

Wehad a chat with Greg Langstaff (TikTok,Instagram,YouTube), a career coach and job search expert, on the do’s and don’ts of the resumes. This professional with over 620,000 followers on TikTok and 230,000 on Instagram had quite a few hot tips for any job hunter out there, so scroll down to get them.

If you’re in the middle of creating your resume right now and need some tips for what not to do, the collection of posts below will show you what will not get you hired. If you already have a resume and feel unsure about it, the list might help you realize that your efforts are, in fact, quite acceptable. And if you already have a job, scrolling down might make you feel like you should hold on to it as the job market is insane.

#1 Someone Sent Me A Picture Of This Resume. Hire This Man Now

When asked about the most common mistakes job seekers make, Greg Langstaff emphasised that it’s not including specific details related to your personal accomplishments. “The last thing you want is a resume that looks like it just has a bunch of job descriptions on it. That only shows the employer “what we did” whereasby adding results and accomplishments, we show them that we’re very good at the things they need us to do. The people who do add those accomplishments are the ones getting the interviews.”

Another big mistake is jumping straight into the work experience, without any introduction. “Because recruiters and hiring managers take so little time to initially scan our resumes, we need to include “Professional Branding” at the top of our resume which could come in the form of giving ourselves a title (such as “Digital Marketing Expert”), a Professional Summary, an Areas of Expertise Section, or some Career Highlights.”

Many employers these days also use resume parsing tools that scan every single application looking for specific keywords, skills, or timelines. They sort the resumes even before a real person has a chance to look through it. This means that if your resume is not easy to parse, it might get weeded out even if you suit all the requirements. So, gather all the keywords that are prominent in your field and make sure to put it in your application

#2 Read This On An Applicant’s Resume

#3 This Resume Was Almost Perfect Until

When your resume finally reaches a recruiter, there are ways to make a good impression. For example, make sure that the language you’re using is not too boastful.According to a study published in 2016, recruiters prefer moderate self-promotion. That means stating that you’re good at something and you have relevant experience would do better than saying you’re excellent, the best they can find, and an ideal candidate. In fact, bragging too much can hurt your chances of getting a job, so keep your ego in check.

A tip that follows in a similar vein is tailoring your resume to the specific job you’re applying for. This might mean omitting irrelevant experience and highlighting achievements that bolster your chances to shine. You should also alter your title so it suits the job you’re applying. Addressing some of the specific requirements mentioned in the job posting can also be useful as well as updating your summary to fit the role better.

When it comes to the visual presentation of your resume, Langstaff has a few more tips. “Think about the visual presentation of your resume like you would with a major presentation you were delivering. The information that you’re sharing is by far the most important part; however, if you don’t make an effort to deliver that in a clear and professional format, people are going to struggle to take the information seriously. Great resume formatting can’t get you a job, but bad formatting can cause you to miss out on one.”

#4 Meirl

#5 Receiving Resumes During A Pandemic

#6 I’ll Do Anything For Work, But I Won’t Do That

Depending on where you live, including a picture in your resume might be a must or a big no-no. In countries such as the US and the UK, including pictures goes against the strict anti-discrimination laws that aim to make hiring processes free from race, age, and gender profiling. The biases that come with presenting a picture were proven back in 1986 whena study concludedthat people favor attractive candidates to the less attractive ones. That seemed to be the rule for any job, yet the pattern was especially prevalent when looking at customer-facing positions.

#7 Someone Sent A Resume With Their Duolingo Streak Under “Languages”

#8 Someone Sent Their Resume And…

#9 There Was An Attempt To Write A Resume

However, one cannot erase discrimination simply by omitting a candidate’s picture; the subconscious biases rear their heads anyway. Take ageism as an example.British Sociological Association statesthat older applicants are three times less likely to get an interview than younger ones. Yet, surely if you omit the picture and the birth date, you’re back on the leveled playing field, right? Wrong. TwoBelgian researchersanalyzed the effects of subtle age cues when assessing resumes. They found that people with older-sounding names and dated hobbies were disadvantages during candidate reviews.

#10 Resume That Was Dropped Today And Impressed My Manager So He Decided To Call Him For An Interview

#11 Received An Application Today. Here Is The “Resume” That Was With It

#12 Some Guy Dropped This Resume Off At My Family’s Restaurant Today

Subtle cues of race are also present in candidate applications.An article published by Harvard Business Schoolpointed out real-life cases of students “whitening” their resumes and having better outcomes. Black students, for example, omitted their race when talking about organizations they belong to. One student even decided not to mention a prestigious scholarship they got because it could reveal their race. Asian students admitted to changing their names to Americanized nicknames which led to a better response rate. They also changed their hobbies to those more common in white western culture.

#13 Maybe The Worst Resume I Have Received

#14 A Resume My Wife Received This Week

“Faith, m
Resume- was working at a trucking company, just got fired for insubordination: not true. looking for upright employer.”

#15 Someone Dropped Off Their Resume Where I Work, I Feel Like I Should Call Them And Let Them Know

With all these biases at play, blind oranonymous recruitmentis becoming a more and more popular option. With this type of candidate screening, all the information that a recruiter could be biased about—age, gender, name, sometimes also personal interests and education—is taken out of the resume. This can be done with the help of a software or a dedicated recruiter that later passes it on to the screener. In this way, the information presented is a neat collection of only job-relevant information. This should increase the chances of marginalized candidates. However, this doesn’t mean that biases will not come into play in the later stage of the hiring process.

#16 My Dad Asked For Help Sending His Resume Online And Handed Me This

#17 Attached This Instead Of A Resume

#18 Wife’s Employer Received This Resume For A Position. He Got An Interview Because The Manager Couldn’t Stop Laughing

When it comes to writing a good resume, Langstaff, who’s written over 1,200 resumes, offers his own strategy that lands his clients jobs. “We read the job postings they’re targeting and make a list of the skills mentioned in that job posting. Then we have a discussion to identify when my client has used those skills in their career successfully. Then we fill the resume with bullet points that tell those stories and we mention the skills again in their professional branding. That approach has led to countless people getting promotions, changing careers, escaping toxic workplaces, and landing their dream jobs.”

#19 I Dunno If This Guy Was Trolling, But We Received This Resume A While Ago

#20 One Of My Recruiters Just Received This Resume This Morning

#21 Why Am I Getting Such An Influx Of People That Act Like This Is Not A Professional Job? Yes, You Need A Resume, And Sorry We Don’t “Hold Dogs Down”

All in all, resumes are quite a big deal. They can help us forge our path forward but also put us in unfair and unfortunate situations. They make you think whether simple pieces of paper should have such significance in determining our lives. After all, sometimes they are the only thing that another person will ever know about us. Either way, keeping that in mind is important and might prevent you from making the regrettable yet hilarious mistakes people made when creating resumes posted in this list. To witness more similar accidents, check out our postshereandhere.

#22 A CV That Was Handed To Me In Work Recently That I Had To Get A Picture Of Before I Passed It On To The Manager

#23 After Spending The Past Two Weeks Handing Out Resumes, I Just Noticed It Says Excessive Masturbation Under My Hobbies

#24 A CV Emailed To The Recruitment Agency I Work For. This Is The Entire Resume And The Blue Is Where His Name Was

#25 Well, It Definitely Makes An Impression

#26 I Had A Question About Your Resume, Miss

#27 I Once Received This Resume, And I’m Still Uncertain Whether The Person Intended It As A Joke

#28 Guy Came Into Work With This Resume

#29 Give Hulk Job

Funny way to get your name out there. I gotta give this animator some props for guts.

#30 My Company Is Hiring. This Was By Far My Favorite Resume. I Mean, Really?

#31 There Was An Attempt To Showcase Language Skills On The CV

#32 We Have Seen A Bad Resume Or Two, But This One Is Quite Special

#33 Diabetes Is An Activity Now?

#34 A Job Recruiter Actually Received This Resume. This Should Go Without Saying, But Don’t Do This

#35 Just Saw This Resume. I Don’t Think They Know What A Reference Is

#36 Presenting My 2004 Resume. “They’ll Hire Me For Sure”. They Didn’t

#37 Our Company Received This Resume From An Applicant Today

#38 This Kid Tried Applying At My Store The Other Day. He Used Tupac As The Background Of His Resume

#39 This Is An Actual Resume That I Received Today

#40 Probably Best Not To Include That On Your Resume

#41 Local Company Received This Resume. I Bet They Hired Him On The Spot