Just because someone is your biological parent doesn’t automatically make them family. Being a father is all about self-sacrifice, supporting your kids through all the ups and downs, and loving them unconditionally.
Unfortunately, not everyone fits the bill. Some dads are downright toxic and deeply mean-spirited. We has collected some of the most awful message exchanges that people have ever had with their ‘dads.’ They’re examples of behavior that nobody should have to tolerate, and why healthy boundaries are vital, even when it comes to your relatives.
Warning: this topic may be triggering for some readers.
#1 My Father Tries To Say He Put Me Through College. My $1,000 Monthly Loan Payments Say Otherwise
#2 That’s A Father Who Needs To Be Investigated
#3 My Stepdad Gave My PC Away To Goodwill. He Said I Waste My Time On It And I Should Be An Auto Mechanic Instead Of Going To College For Computer Science. I Spent Like $800 On That PC
I went to Goodwill and bought it back for $85. They had my computer for sale for $85.
Parenting is a very difficult and sensitive topic to get into. Nearly everyone seems to have strong opinions on raising kids well (and might think others are wrong). There’s no single ‘best’ approach to childcare because a lot depends on the dynamics between your family members.
But broadly speaking, one parenting style is miles better than the alternatives. Spoiler warning: it’s authoritative (not to be confused with authoritarian) parenting.
#4 Insane Dad
#5 Why’d I Have The Same Exact Experience
#6 My Dad Is Sending Me To Boot Camp This Month Because I Didn’t Get My Hair Cut The Way He Wanted. I Was Sobbing In The Back Of My Work When He Sent Me These Messages
There are four main parenting styles: authoritative (aka balanced), authoritarian (dictatorial and harsh), permissive (parents see their kids as friends), and uninvolved (neglectful).
To put it bluntly, you should aim to be an authoritative parent because it’s the healthiest for your children when it comes to building self-esteem, resilience, academic success, and emotional and mental well-being.
#7 My Father Tracking Me While I’m On A Date
#8 Once A Month From My Dad
#9 I’m A Recovering Alcoholic Who Just Moved Into A New Apartment. This Is What My Dad Left Me
Your goal as a parent is to create a nurturing and supportive space for your munchkins, where they can not only survive but also thrive and grow into kind, capable, and confident adults.
Authoritative parenting is all about finding the right balance between unconditional love and firm boundaries for your kids.
#10 Last Year’s Thanksgiving With Dad Brought This Out. Not The First Time He’s Made Comments Like This, And I Was Told I Was Gross For Getting Upset
#11 Dad Decided To Tear My Room Down While I’m Away At College. He Also Threw All Of My Stuff Away Without Asking
#12 For The First Time In My Life, I Stood Up To My Psycho Dad. His Response Was To Cut Me Out Of His Will
Kids need lots of affection and attention, yes, but they also require structure and boundaries. Authoritative parents understand the massive value that clarity provides in a home setting. That’s why they’re so big on open and honest communication.
They establish very clear guidelines for their kids: they explain what behavior is acceptable, what’s not, and why. And they take their children’s feelings and opinions into account.
#13 My Dad Thinks He Is Entitled To My Money (Which I Don’t Have Much Of) Because “It’s Christmas”
#14 That’s Probably Not The Only One
#15 My Father Sent A Video To A Group Chat With Me And My Brother Of A Guy Smashing His Kid’s TV Because They Forgot Their Chores
That was yesterday morning. Since then, I’ve been getting complete silent treatment and he snaps at my mom and brother whenever they try to speak to him.
These authoritative parents are calm. They’re assertive. They genuinely care about their emotional well-being, but they don’t shy away from setting expectations and rules, too.
It’s important to remember, though, that there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ parent. No matter what your social media feeds and random parenting blog posts tell you, all parents make mistakes from time to time. And that’s okay.
#16 My Dad Still Thinks I’m 13
#17 My Biological Dad And I Have Always Had A Bad Relationship But I Thought We Had Worked Out Something Civil When He Got “Sober”. I Received $2 Two Days Before My Wedding
Previously he disowned me for marrying a woman, he also said he had stopped drinking, which wasn’t true. I must also mention that he’s been an absent father and an addict my entire life.
#18 My Father With Whom I Have Little To No Contact, Put Me (24 Years Old) And My Sister (40 Years Old) In A Group Chat To Chastise Us For Not Texting Him On Thanksgiving
About three years ago, my father cheated on my mother after 31 years of marriage. When my sister and I refused to accept the "other woman" as our new stepmom, he flipped out and cut us off because we hurt her feelings. Over the last three years, he has made no steps to apologize and has done irreparable damage to our relationship. He was constantly sending guilt-tripping texts like this to us, and I finally just snapped and blocked him after this.
Parenting isn’t a competition. And you’re not aiming for a ‘perfect’ track record. Instead, you should focus on being there for your kids, guiding them as best as you can, and learning from your mistakes as you go along.
Your success as a parent depends on your kids’ happiness rather than doing things ‘perfectly,’ following the latest parenting trends, and taking influencers’ tips as gospel. Don’t give in to the pressure from social media and your local neighborhood parents to behave a certain way just because it’s popular.
#19 My Dad Making My Accomplishments About Himself
For context, my sister and I are very low contact with our father. There was a small news article about my participation in a space mission and he is upset the journalist didn't credit him for my interest in space.
#20 My Dad Is In Texas Right Now And Is Making Me Send Photos Of My Room Every Day Or He Takes 100$ From My Account
He’s taken 1000$ out of my brother's account for eating a Laffy Taffy, so this is actually pretty tame compared to other stuff.
#21 My Dad Volunteered Me To Read At Church At 6 AM. He Also Refuses To Use My New Name
Contrary to authoritative parents, authoritarian parents often don’t care about their kids’ thoughts or feelings about their decisions. They don’t allow for much (if any) room for negotiations and compromise. They simply expect their kids to follow their commands and strict rules to the letter, no matter the context.
Authoritarians are also likely to punish their children for misbehavior and mistakes. They have very high expectations but little flexibility and less ability to be nurturing.
#22 Texted Dad For The First Time In A While To Ask A Simple Question. That Was A Mistake
#23 Stepdad Ate My Only Food I Had For Lunch At Work
#24 Gross Text My Girlfriend’s Dad Sent. He Almost Never Contacts Her And Sent This Out Of The Blue. He Never Replied
Meanwhile, permissive parents, unlike authoritarians, tend to have very few expectations for their children. They can be kind, warm, and nurturing, but they’re not the best when it comes to setting up and enforcing rules and boundaries inside and outside of the home.
Often, permissive parents see their kids as their friends, so they rarely discipline them. This, in turn, can lead to their munchkins developing lots of unhealthy habits, which will have a knock-on effect on their health later in life.
#25 My Girlfriend Got These From Her Dad Last Night After Not Answering One Phone Call. Things Like This Happen At Least A Few Times A Month With Her Parents
#26 My Dad Always Knows How To Make Me Feel Guilty For Things I Shouldn’t Have To Feel Guilty Over
#27 Dad Bruises My Arm After Losing His Temper. He’s Not Very Remorseful
Freedom is good. But too much freedom without any guidance can be toxic. Uninvolved, aka neglectful, parents are barely present in their children’s lives. Often, they have barely any expectations of them and don’t offer them a nurturing environment.
This can lead to self-sufficiency, sure, but it also results in poorer academic performance, difficulties maintaining relationships, and problems with emotional control.
#28 I Went Out Of The House For A Bike Ride, And When I Came Back, Dad Locked Me Out Of The House. Luckily, I Had A Back Door Key, But He Physically Forced Me Out Of My Own Home
#29 My Dad Always Insults My Appearance In Pictures, So I Deleted His Comments. A Man Child
#30 I’m So Glad My Dad Is Finally Paying Attention To Me
#31 My Dad Called Me Almost 350 Times, Then Decided To Use A Relative’s Recent Death As Leverage. This Is Over Me Packing For School
#32 My Dad Is Threatening To Call The Cops On Me
The other day I backed into a parked car in a parking lot. I couldn’t find the owner so I called the non-emergency number, left my contact info on the vehicle, and took photos of the incident. I went back to the scene when the owner came back to his car and called me, talked with the police, and agreed to handle this civilly by paying for the minor damages (dent in the rear bumper).
My dad found out and was mad about it but got over it. I went out today and he started calling me to get back home. I didn’t answer so he threatened to call the cops on me for a hit and run (which didn’t happen) and call the owner of the car and tell them to sue me. He then called all my friends and started threatening them too.
#33 How Do I React To This From My Dad?
#34 Texting My Dad About A Previously Organized Visit With My 9-Week-Old Baby. We Agreed Yesterday That He Would Come Up Around Lunchtime. How Dare I Suggest A Time For Him To Arrive
#35 My Grandma Is In The ER And All My Dad Is Thinking Of Is Calling Me
#36 Conversation With My Dad About Him Forcing Me To Sleep On The Couch So His Other Kids Can Have My Room
#37 I Am 22 Years Old, Living On My Own With My Husband, And My Dad Still Tries To Control What I Do
#38 Dad Decided To Throw My Boots Away Because They’re In The “Middle” Of The Way
#39 Gotta Love My Homophobic Dad. I Wasn’t Even Intentionally Making An LGBTQ+ Design, Just Wanted A Rainbow
#40 Didn’t Give My Dad 150$ For Beer. He Must Have Found Some Money Somewhere, Because He Drunk Texted Me This Lovely Mess
#41 Dad Gave Away My Cat A Couple Of Months After I Moved Out. He Refuses To Tell Me Where He Is. I Can’t Pursue Legal Action Because I’m 14 And He Was In Legal Ownership
#42 A Text From My Father, Who Has Blamed Me For All Of His Marriage Problems With My Mom Since I Was 9 Years Old. He Sent Me This Gem While My Husband Was Deployed
#43 I’m The Only Kid In The Family Who Didn’t Become A Doctor. My Mom Forced My Dad To Post For My Graduation Since He Always Brags About My Doctor And Dentist Siblings. This Is What I Got
#44 23 And Can’t Spend Time With My Boyfriend, Without Dad Constantly Threatening To Come To His House
#45 My Father Sent Me This For My Birthday. The Bottom Says “You Didn’t Think This Was A Birthday Gift, Did You?”
#46 This Was Completely Out Of Nowhere
I was at work and sent my dad this, he’s been kinda moody lately, so I was just sending it as more of a heads up. Keep in mind, my name is also on the lease and I pay half the rent. Also this girl is also like my sister and she moved away a year ago, she is also only in town for today and tomorrow.
#47 My Brother Has Some Major Behavioral Issues, So I Put My Mom And Dad Into A Group Chat So They Can Work Out Putting Him In Therapy. My Dad Refuses, And Has No Problem Calling Him A Loser
#48 I Turned Off My Location Services For My Own Privacy. My Dad, Citing Safety Reasons, Turned Off My Wireless Data Until I Share My Location
#49 My Dad And I Were Having Such A Nice Conversation For Once, Until This
#50 My Dad Doesn’t Like When I Try To Cool Down The Hottest Side Of The House (My Side). He Closed All The Vents, Took My Fan, And Decided To Do This. It’s Set To 82 Degrees. We’re In Arizona
